I’ve got lots of pictures in my head

by smithstandard

Wednesday 16 January 2019, 5.30pm. I was sitting on the beach after a quick dip in the ocean.

First of all – I know right? That’s not like me at all. I’m terrified of waves, I often get anxious thinking people are looking at me swimming on my own and I like the comfort of being at home after a big day of work. A different, spontaneous-ish version of myself comes out in the summer time. ¯_(ツ)_/¯

Anyway, I watched a man rush from the sand into the water and had this thought: this can’t be it.

No – he didn’t run into the jaws of a megalodon shark or anything. For some reason, this man running towards the water made me think …

Surely life’s not about working 9-5 at an okay-ish job (or worse, one you hate), so you can race home and get a half hour in the water before the sun starts to disappear and the sharks come out to feed? And yes, I have no idea what sort of life this man lead and I completely made up his backstory, but the thought entered my mind all the same. Surely life’s not about living for the weekends or for that one solid holiday every year?

When did we become like this?

And I’m generalising the “we” here. But when did it become the norm for so many people to work for most of their life and not really enjoy it? To get sucked up into the corporate world which is so often filled with greed and negativity? When did people start stressing about work so much that their mental or physical health started to deteriorate?

When did people start getting all flustered and dramatic about minor issues in life, like meeting minor deadlines at work? Why do we complain about the washing and think the world has ended when the bin hasn’t gone out on bin day? When did we all start competing to see who is more tired or run-down because life is so “busy”, and the only way we seem to be able to bond is by saying “only four hours to go”. Do we mean it? Do we really hate our jobs or the situations we’re in or are we just so stuck for conversation that it’s the easiest thing to say?

I know, there were a lot of questions and scenarios just then. My bad.

I’m not about to launch into some rant about how we should all quit our jobs and go travel or how you should sign-up for “an amazing multi-level opportunity where you can eat all your fruit and vegetable servings in a capsule and work from home,” and thus end all of your troubles (spare me). I don’t have any answers, but that definitely ain’t the answer. At least not for me.

I’m just pointing out that lately, the little annoyances in my life are being vastly overshadowed by the bigger picture stuff.

I have never felt more desperate to see the world. To go away on weekends, to plan big overseas holidays. I’ve never felt such a pull to be outdoors and to see places I never knew existed (and that’s quite a thing for me to say, as I’m not much of a “doer/adventurer” per-say – unless it’s on carefully thought out planned overseas trip).

I want to spend time with my friends and family without our phones and do things that are a little bit different, even just going somewhere new together and taking the time to appreciate those moments.

I’ve also been listening to Joe Rogan.

And whilst a lot of his stuff is all about weed and mixed martial arts and weird boy stuff that makes no sense to me, he makes some bloody good points sometimes. One of them recently was about how our primal instincts as humans have faded. We wear shoes everywhere and race inside the minute it rains, as if something terrible is falling from the sky. What did they do before technology and when they hunted with their bare hands? They weren’t pussy-ass bitches running inside from the rain FFS.

He also discussed how social media and virtual reality are taking over.

People will hurl abuse and call you a c*nt online, but in a real-life situation, wouldn’t even know how to string a sentence together. Virtual reality can make you feel like you’re living an experience, but you’re not. Putting on a pair of goggles and visiting the Coliseum in Rome is not the same as travelling for 500 hours, feeling like shit, landing, checking into your accom, smelling the air and hearing Italian accents; and then finally rounding the corner and seeing it appear out of nowhere at the end of the street. Mate, nothing even compares to the real thing.

I don’t mean for this to be an attack on anyone reading it either.

Let’s face it, this is really about me and my experiences, perceptions and a whole heap of anxiety rolled into one, and writing it all down is helping me clear my head. But maybe it’ll also help someone else.

Maybe you think the same sometimes or maybe you don’t at all, but could do with a reminder of the bigger picture stuff. As far as I’m concerned, this is the only life we get, so go book that holiday, play in the rain, be present in conversations, pat all of the dogs and the next time your work colleagues start getting worked up over something, just take a step back and breathe.

It’s all gonna be alright.

Han x

P.S. Oh and while I’m all for people making their own choices in life, if a friend of yours has had so many lip fillers she looks like she has a moustache above her top lip – BE A GOOD FRIEND AND TELL HER FFS. I can’t tell her – she’s not my mate.

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