Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals

by smithstandard
Pinecone and bauble

I bloody love Christmas.

I love all of it. The chaos, the family time, the Christmas carols, all of the lights (sing like Yeezy) and the copious amounts of food. Oh my lordy, the food.

Christmas is my favourite time of the year, although if I’m being honest it takes me longer and longer every year to feel that special Christmas vibe/feeling/spirit I fell so easily into as a child. You know, back when you had an imagination that took over your whole life in the best possible way. When you believed in magic and the wonder of Santa and his reindeer; when hearing Christmas carols gave you a happy flutter in your tummy and going to bed on Christmas Eve was the one night of the year it took hours to fall asleep, but it didn’t matter.

I miss that feeling. I sometimes get waves of it in my adult life, but I have to really try to let it takeover. I have to be away from work and my daily routine, Bublé (the Christmas carol god) has to be playing in the background and having a sparkly Christmas tree in the room with a few pressies scattered underneath definitely helps. If I sit still and think back to when I was a kid, I can sometimes feel what it was like back then, and it’s awesome.

Don’t get me wrong. Christmas as an adult is still great. I may not be giddy every day because I think Santa’s on his way with shitloads of presents, but I still get to feel a bit of magic in different ways.

My parent’s dog Scrappy, wrapped in Christmas lights like the Christmas angel he is.

Firstly, I am a consenting adult so getting buhhhh-linddd over the Christmas break tends to happen whether I plan it or not. And getting merry is its own kind of magic. Last year my sister and I smashed through a carton of beer in one evening by accident and the following day I ended up running riot in my boyfriend’s sister’s house like an absolute menace. The hangover is nowhere near as bad when you’re on holidays either ¯_(ツ)_/¯

Secondly, I get to be a gluttonous monster and completely enjoy every moment of eating food I know I shouldn’t. I mean I go to town, and I encourage you to do the same. Eat all the ham, prawn that shit up, eat chocolate even though your belly hurts, drink beer until you have the hiccups, try every dish (even the salads and vegetables), every dessert – just load your plate up until it’s curved and you’re balancing everything with your tongue sticking out of your mouth for concentration. It goes without saying that you don’t need to change out of your PJ’s during this time either. Yes, you are guaranteed to feel like a giant sack of shit at the end of these few days, but I promise, it’s worth it before the bad feelings sink in.

And thirdly (and probably most importantly), I appreciate the time with my family so much more. Whilst getting presents is great, it’s definitely no longer the highlight for me. Being at home with my family, eating shitloads of food, acting like a total slob (and mum not batting an eyelid) is the best bit. It’s a time where beers at 9am is okay in my parent’s house, when eating ham for five days in a row is not frowned upon and when eating until your sick is the norm. It’s when getting in and out of the pool and dripping water through the house is standard; it’s when we’re all collectively complaining about the heat whilst lying in the aircon – eating chocolate and watching Christmas movies like Home Alone or the Grinch or Jingle All the Way or Elf or ALL OF THEM.

It might be different now, but for me, it’s still the most magical time of the year.

Obviously it isn’t magical for everybody.

Christmas can be a painful and lonely time for lots of people for many reasons. Social isolation, depression,  mental health, loneliness, financial concerns … a variety of things can come into play that make things hard for lots of people this time of year. So even though people act like total a-holes on the roads and in shopping centres, try to be kind and patient with people (I mean, I’m gonna try to not kill people who slow walk in December, but no promises). Give something back.  Donate your money or time, buy a gift to donate to someone less fortunate. If you ask the wonderful gift-wrapping men and women outside of Target to wrap your presents, give them a generous donation. Don’t be a stingy bugger. Spread the love boys and girls. Spread the love.

One final thing – if you’re feeling the Christmas love, and want to get me something, I would greatly appreciate you signing up to my newsletter mailing list here (if the link doesn’t work, you can find it in the left-handside panel on my Smith Standard Facebook page). Shamelessly promoting myself is part of the wonders of blogging, so I figure asking at Christmas time isn’t so bad. Right? Anyway, I promise I won’t spam you – I just want to let you know when my neurotic ramblings are live and hopefully, it’ll force me to write more blogs, more often. I want to take it up a level in 2018.

Anyway, Merry Christmas ya filthy animals x

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